i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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