I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
