I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
