Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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