the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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