Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
