Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
