You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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