hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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