if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
