did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
