Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
