Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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