Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
