Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
