Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
