The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
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Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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