I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
