so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
