You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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