Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
