this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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