Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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