yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
