Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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