So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
