were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
