STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
