doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
