at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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