YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
