Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
please don't ironically join a cult
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