That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
