awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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