I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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