so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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