Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
