Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
