There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
