Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
