There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
