Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
