i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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