I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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