so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
