Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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