Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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