i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She bit a glass in half.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
