Christians are straight up FREAKS
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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