do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
