i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
