It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
