She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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