there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
