Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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