I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
