So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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