His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
