i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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