Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize