): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
