I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
